| Whether or not you are a pet lover, you
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| | so now you have to decide if their
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| have probably run across issues with
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| | continued acquaintance is worth putting
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| dealing with other people's pets. Either
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| | up with their pet.As a child, I was
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| you are getting mauled by someone's huge,
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| | chased down by a large German shepherd
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| slobbering dog at a backyard barbeque or
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| | and bitten, and I still find large dogs
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| they have decided that it is appropriate
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| | somewhat intimidating. If we get invited
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| to bring Mr. Tinky Woo to your house
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| | to someone's house and I know that they
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| since he's just an itty-bitty thing. The
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| | have big dogs, I check to see if they are
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| question is: how do you avoid such
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| | willing to control them. If they are
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| situations in the future? Put simply,
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| | not, I decline the invitation and suggest
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| it's a matter of defining and enforcing
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| | something else. If they say they will
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| your boundaries.When It's Your Place. The
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| | but don't actually do this when I'm
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| first thing you have to decide is what
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| | there, I leave. These are my
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| your boundaries are in regards to pets in
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| | boundaries-what are yours?What if Your
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| your home. Do you want to forbid all
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| | Pet is the Problem? Having said a lot
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| pets belonging to other people from your
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| | about defining your boundaries about
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| home? Do you have pets of your own to
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| | other people's pets, it's probably a good
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| consider in making this decision? Is
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| | idea to look at your own pets, if you
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| your choice impacted by the type, size
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| | have them. Do you inadvertently subject
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| and disposition of the pet or by the type
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| | your friends to your pets? Perhaps you
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| of event you are hosting? Clearly define
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| | recognized that the big, slobbering dog
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| what the rules are for your home.Next,
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| | attacking your guests at the barbeque was
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| you need to inform other people of the
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| | your overly friendly golden retriever.
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| house rules regarding pets. You don't
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| | Keep in mind that the first rule of
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| have to send out a press release or
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| | hosting is to ensure your guest's
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| anything. You might choose to call a few
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| | comfort. You may view your dog with a
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| of your friends with pets or perhaps
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| | benevolent eye but how are your guests
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| include the information in your next
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| | perceiving his attentions? To what
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| e-mail invitation to a party at your
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| | extent are you willing to control your
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| place. The idea here is that it is
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| | pet or curtail your pet's
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| difficult to enforce rules if nobody is
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| | behavior?Likewise, you might view your
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| aware of them.Finally, when somebody
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| | new pocket pet as the ideal shopping and
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| shows up at your house and says something
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| | traveling companion and enjoy taking her
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| like, "I know you said not to bring pets,
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| | everywhere with you, but do you find that
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| but I'm sure you didn't mean my little
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| | your friends are starting to avoid you?
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| Mr. Tinky Woo", then you need to stand up
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| | Again, you have to define what your
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| for yourself and enforce the boundary you
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| | boundaries are here.As someone who
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| set. Practice what you will say ahead of
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| | actively despised cats for many years and
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| time. So many times, clients will say to
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| | is now the proud co-owner of one, I can
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| me, "But I was so clear! I couldn't
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| | understand that not everyone wants to pet
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| believe somebody would actually test my
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| | my friendly kitty and go home covered in
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| boundary and I didn't know what to say or
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| | cat hair. While some people love her,
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| do, so the situation just happened all
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| | some may even be allergic to her or to my
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| over again!" Don't put yourself in this
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| | apartment because of her presence. I
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| situation. Ensure your confident
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| | make a point of informing potential
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| handling of the situation by determining
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| | visitors about her so they can decide for
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| what you will say and do when faced with
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| | themselves. Depending on my guests'
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| a boundary violator. Perhaps in the
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| | tolerance level, I may offer to confine
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| situation described here you might say,
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| | her in a separate room for the time they
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| "Yes, I did. Would you like to run him
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| | are visiting or we might choose to meet
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| home and come back or did you just want
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| | up somewhere else. Again, these are my
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| to get together another time?"When It's
| |
| | boundaries-what are yours?Conclusion. It
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| Their Place. Of course, you say, it's
| |
| | is completely possible to enjoy your
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| easier to set these boundaries when it is
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| | friends, your pets and their pets,
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| your place, but how do you do this when
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| | provided you are clear about what your
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| it's not your home? If the problem is a
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| | boundaries are and you enforce them
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| pet at your friend's place, there are two
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| | consistently. Ambivalence about the
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| steps you can take. First, you can ask
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| | topic and avoidance of the issue are the
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| your friend to control or confine the pet
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| | biggest reasons people continue to suffer
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| in a way that doesn't overly stress the
| |
| | these situations. If you want to enjoy
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| pet but will allow you to enjoy your
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| | future social occasions, then quit
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| visit without discomfort or fear. If
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| | tolerating this and make some
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| your friend is unwilling to do this for
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| | changes.Copyright 2006 Vivian BantaVivian
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| you or should you feel uncomfortable
| |
| | Banta (MBA/Coach U CTP Grad) is a life
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| asking for this consideration or choose
| |
| | and transition coach who works with
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| not to, then your next step is to suggest
| |
| | people who want to fully engage in their
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| meeting in a neutral place, like a
| |
| | lives or who are experiencing changes
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| restaurant.If your friend is still
| |
| | such as relocation, career shifts, and
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| unwilling to meet you halfway, it's time
| |
| | personal relationship changes. To find
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| to consider how important this
| |
| | out more, visit her website at or
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| relationship is to you. They have
| |
| | contact her at to schedule a free,
|
| clearly stated what their boundaries are
| |
| | 30-minute personal coaching session.
|
